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And he actually knows me better than a lot of my partners ever did.
So what is it about the friends with benefits dynamic that is more sustainable, and often more transparent, than an actual relationship? They’re like: How can you have sex with the same person, again and again, without falling in love?
Fuck you startups with your extravagant parties and crazy off-site events that cost way too much money, you’re supposed to buy some fucking servers instead!
On one end of the scale you’ve got the pizza-guzzling, office-snack hoarding monster, and on the other end you have the ‘I-must-optimize-every-living-second’ douche that only drinks fucking Soylent. It ain’t gonna mitigate all those fucking doritos you just munched on, so just shut the fuck up and sit in a normal chair like normal people. Especially all those straight-out-of-college-entrepreneurs. I want to get the same version of your site every time I refresh it, stop fucking changing it up on me.
It’s almost guaranteed, therefore, any word from before the time of automobiles did not spring to life from a series of initials becoming so common that folks began pronouncing it as its own word.
The acronymic explanation of the origin of ‘fuck’ takes one of two paths: Fornication Under Consent of the King or For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.
Do me a favor, put your fucking Mac away and go play with your kids. Please stop celebrating every fucking imaginary milestone with whisky, beer, or pizza and beer. Oh, OK, I’ll come work for you because you have the Glenlivet 17 and not the 15. Fuck your eating disorders, why the fuck does everything have to be so extreme with you? Fuck your standing desk, exercise ball desk, laying desk, and treadmill desk. Let me repeat that -NO ONE CAN FUCKING READ THAT FAST. Fuck your references to Malcolm Gladwell and Dan Ariely, and stop fucking quoting Lean Startup, for Christs sake. Fuck “entrepreneurs” nowadays, seriously- Everybody is a fucking entrepreneur now. Fuck your feature flags and endless variants in your A/B testing.
Put us to the test Software development involves very complex and abstract problems. Everyone understand the idea and works toward common goal using the software design map created together, learn more. Nobody gives a fuck that Elon musk is working 100 hours a week, and that Marissa Mayer pulling in a 130 hour work week while still breastfeeding her newborns. You should celebrate any day that you don’t have to sell off another part of your company. Fuck you for telling me that TV is a waste of time but you’re all about the Netflix and chill. And I never got a compilation error on a white board, when I need a hash set in Java I just use Hash Set- I don’t fucking care about the complexity of this code block because I can afford another EC2 instance! Everyone there is the CEO of something-something and they’re all building a MVP to disrupt the who gives a fuck market and that hockey-stick growth is guaranteed. Fuck your noise cancelling headphones and Pomodoro timers, your fucking to-do lists, apps, notes, sticky notes, and God knows what else. Robot is kind of like you, because you like to geek out on that shit. Keep laughing about how HBO’s Silicon Valley is realistic instead of asking why. I never had to shift a bit in a C array in my life! Fucking DAU’s, WAU’s, MAU’s, ARPU, LTV, CPM, CPI, CPC, PPC, CPA, CTR, SEO, ASO, Yo Y, Wo W, Fuck over Fuck. And the fucking networking events, my fucking lord. When people wanted to have a baby, they had to get the consent of the king, and the king gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The explanation I heard as a kid was that it stood for: For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. In ancient England single people could not have sex unless they had consent of the king. Supposedly “swive” was excised from texts by the Censors and replaced with the inscription “For Unlawful Carnal (or Cardinal? At least this is what I learned in college — or was it the streets?