Dating soon after loss of wife
Then her voice turned into that teacher from Charlie Brown, "wah, wah wah wah wah." I melted into my bed, sobbing. This is where I learned about the term 'rainbow baby.' In June 2015, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. Like our son, Cameron, who will be three-years-old in May, we wanted the baby's gender to be a surprise, so we waited—but we did find out that the baby was perfectly healthy.
But if there's something every single one of these mothers agrees on, it's that those experiencing loss need to know that they aren't alone."In February 2015, we found out we were expecting our second baby—and in March we lost our baby. I knew I was miscarrying but had a tiny bit of hope (or was it denial?
We were able to experience, and imagine, what divorce and a two-home family would be like. Everyone would be okay no matter what direction we ultimately took. I would have married my ex-boyfriend if I knew then what I know now. Well, my “the One” certainly wouldn’t have spent 4 years screwing hookers. And, in truth, I see him for who he is TODAY and I don’t want to lose that man. I think I am at a place where I do believe a marriage can survive. I do believe there is life, together, beyond D-day and that the two people can even grow stronger, more real, than before. That you accept a life of peace and contentment, but not happiness.
I saw that I didn’t have to stay for any fear, but I did see what life would be like if we really did divorce. I don’t want someone else to enjoy a life with this recovered/recovering, stable, matured version of him. But its like being between a rock and a hard place.
My story is about how my husband has successfully managed his recovery from Sex Addiction, but the deep wounds that his addiction caused still remain. Four years ago, my husband admitted to sleeping with prostitutes and strippers, as well as an enormous porn and sex chat addiction, during the first four years of our marriage, including during both of my pregnancies. At the time, we were living in North Carolina so that he could go to graduate school; we had no friends or family or community, and we had a toddler and a newborn.
He confessed “everything” after I caught him trying to send a photo of his penis to some stranger via email. At worst, I concluded that my initial reaction of calm and of, say, not throwing him out of the house and immediately filing for divorce was a sign of hope, of being able to overcome this, of my love for him, of commitment, etc. My husband did take responsibility and showed great willingness to recover.